Feb. 27th, 2007

etoiline: (Default)
Happy half-birthday to me. ;)

I think I'm a good writer. People have told me so. I've heard that I do remarkable first drafts. But so far, that's all I've got. First drafts. I want to much to finish something that is good (and marketable, sue me) but I have such a hard time doing it. I get super-motivated after reading a good book, but then I find something else to distract me before I can get something down. I have all these ideas, but I doubt that any of them are truly original. There is such a thing as a "Mary Sue" character (in fanfiction, this refers to inserting yourself as your main character, i.e. he/she has all your good characteristics and none of your bad, with bonuses to boot) and I worry that I project too many of my desires onto my character. I become insecure about my writing easily, which is silly. I want people to read what I write, but I cringe to hear what they have to say. Which is also silly, because most of the time what people say is that it's good, just change a few things here or there...and of course, things come out better after a draft or two.

What if I don't actually have an original idea? Looking back at what I've written in my life, there's a strong common thread among all my characters. I write what I want to read, but apparently it's not very unique.

So it's all in the writing. I just have to make the character believable, with something new and different. I love it when authors throw me for a loop (as long as it's not deus ex machina), and sometimes I despair of ever being able to do that myself. Is it just because I'm not smart enough to figure something like that out?

I've got a battle scene (several scenes. A chapter or two, at least.) to write in my current novel, and it's a little scary. I would make a horrible general. Even though I've got any resources I need (what? you need more infantry? here! let's write another unit coming through) I can't seem to stop stalling. I know once I get it down it will be good. I hope things will tie up (not too neatly, or there won't be a second book ;)) because right now I'm not sure how it will.

I need a vacation where all I do is sit down at the computer and write, without worrying about work or class or sleep. Do I think that's going to happen? Not so much.

If you want to read something that the dragons took over, let me know.

January 2015

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