regret

[etoiline]

someone who commented on my blog mentioned how she should have tried out for theater in high school earlier and now that she's a senior she doesn't have much of a chance. Ah, how well I know that feeling. I actually tried to be part of theater my freshman year when I attempted to play the piano for the musical's orchestra...unfortunately not being able to sight-read really puts a damper on learning several new pieces of music each week, so I had to quit. I thought about trying out and even practiced some of the songs but nothing ever came of it.

So if you hear me talking about my ex, he's who I mean. Incidentally, he joined the Army Reserves (leaving me abruptly much to the joy of his step-father, which is a totally different story for another day) and I haven't heard from him for a few years. That's scary, in a way. All his email accounts are dead, and I hope he isn't. I wouldn't wish that on anyone, even someone like him. Anyway, returning from that tangent, Chris told me he wouldn't try out for the spring musical my sophomore year of school, even though his friend Scott wanted him to, because I couldn't due to basketball practice. Well, imagine my surprise when I get back from practice one day to find that he is, in fact, in the audition room with Scott, and ended up getting a small part in the play. can you tell I'm a little bitter about that?

So I spent that semester insanely jealous that he was in the production which ended up being quite good. He wasn't so hot in it, but whatever...so I swore that I would get involved in theater, try out for a few things...once upon a time I actually had gotten the lead in the school play--as Rainbow Brite. What can I say, it was first grade. I had more than twice the lines of anyone else. So I went to try out for the fall musical, as it turned out that year ( normally it's fall play and spring musical, and if you don't know what the difference is, too bad for you) and didn't make it, but became part of the makeup crew. And I was so happy, but I still wanted to be on stage. Did make it in a very bit part in the spring musical, but I was also on the makeup crew. So with that work and the work I did over the winter break and summer I became a Thespian. (Are you one? What was your induction phrase? I can't tell you unless you're one too ;) )

From then on I was hooked. I totally missed out on the whole Dawson's Creek and Buffy thing because I was never home when they were on, due to the only-one-of-its-kind evening theater class I took senior year. I was prop master for the fall production, and then came 42nd Street in the spring...I tried out, and I'm of the opinion that I should have gotten more than just chorus, but at least I got to sing and tap, which made me completely happy. And I was on stage, and using props I made, feeling important. I knew I wanted to do more.

But I never got to...track in college took up too much time to do any sort of theater work. I sort of did some theater in showchoir, but nothing really of the musical-theater type, and that made me sad.

So one of these days I want to pull out those tap shoes, and character shoes, and be part of the actors on a stage. I won't say I'm great actor, or dancer, or singer, but I feel like I can hold my own. And I just hope that when I'm old I won't still have this regret.

Man, you made it through all that? I can' t believe I just wrote it. Please let me know how you feel.

Comments

[12eleven.livejournal.com]

-feels honored in a way for being mentioned-

I'm glad there's someone who relates.
Regrets... how I envy people who take risks and live without them.

Thank you for writing that. Perhaps, now I'll take a peek at the local papers and see if there's any plays/musicals during the holidays I can try out for. :)